i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, this is what is on my mind (and this is parts I wrote a week ago)
and I'm sorry that I wrote this poem on the car ride back to my house instead of paying attention to the road
It's a beautiful night and my best friend is home
and I think about the light reflectors on the side of the freeway a lot
mom, I'm sorry I stopped playing the piano
I don't know if it's the night or the music or me or you
I can't explain a lot of things.
I cant explain why my friend's dad did that
I cant explain why I did that
I cant explain why that girl in my English class did that
I cant explain why the boy you were in love with did that
we cried in front of each other , and you looked so beautiful that night , i didn't look back when I was walking away , even though I should have- i love you
we kissed the night away , and your friends were waiting for you at your house , our parents had no idea where we were- i love you
last night I painted and colored and cried and wrote and cried and hurt myself a little bit and was sad and I was up all night and now my eyes hurt from lack of sleep and too many tears- i love you
you made me less sad and not many people do that, thank you
You don't deserve to be sad
you deserve the best things in the entire world:
you deserve bats and birds and babies(because you like those things)
and you deserve to dance and sing and to write poetry(because you like those things too)
as hard as I try, I can't imagine myself when I'm older. I don't have the slightest clue what I want to do, what I'll look like, who I will be friends with, where I will live, I'm starting to think that i'll die soon because that's just what I'm destined to do.
Megan D., I think that's cool that you ride horses. I'm glad you found something you're passionate about.
Lindsey, you're so nice to me and everyone in Mexico, and I really like your blog name.
Alysia, I like how your name is spelled. I like your writing more than I'm willing to admit.
Sol, you are so brave, and I think you got a haircut but I was too scared to say anything.
Brooklyn, I like walking home with you. The flowers we picked are still in my jacket pocket.
Lexi, we have had several classes together over our high school experience, but I feel like we don't know each other that well. You're gonna be a great teacher.
Kyle, i'm sorry about your friend Josh. I'm sorry
some of your classes don't cooperate as much as you wish they did.
Luke, you're so funny and nice to me. I really liked your glasses, you just got new ones though, I think. I like them both.
Malia, I appreciate how passionate you are about writing.
Hannah N., you told me one time we were friends 10th grade and then you thought I was "too cool" for you and that you thought that we weren't friends anymore. We're still friends.
Rachel, i'm sorry your first kiss was in a Walmart parking lot. I really like your handwriting and the music you listen to and the words you write.
Isabel, i'm sorry didn't go to your birthday party in the 10th grade.
Amber, you remind me of my mom in all of the best ways.
Brenden, I've always wanted to go to Budapest.
Andie, I don't think we've ever officially talked, and I think I yelled at you for not bringing macaroons to class and I wasn't really that mad. Sorry for yelling.
Paige, I really like the way you read your words in front of the class. it
sounds feels right.
Lauren, every time I ever read anything you've written, I read it in your voice.
Emily, you're so crazy, and so funny, and so nice to me, and everyone.
Kenzie, I don't think we've ever really talked. But I appreciate that you come to class (just about) every day.
Rylie, I don't know why but (after the reveal) I could never remember your name, just your pen name.
Cali, when I worked at the movie theater, people would ask me all the time if you still worked there.
Gil, we made a mythology video in the seventh grade together with Mitchell Rasmussen and Patrick McGowan.
Megan R., you've always been nice to me, and one time you held my friend Tyler's hand and I guess we made it a competition and you two won.
maybe it was your sister.
Morgan, I like that you watercolor. I wish I did that more.
Izzy, whenever you say hi to me in the hallway, it always makes me feel better.
Carter, we went to a scout camp together a long time ago and have been friends since. and I really liked when we watched The Oscars together at your house.
Sam, I like how you write stories, not just poetry. different is good.
Jenna B., I remember when we went to the food truck round up together, and your name sounds nice to say.
Katie, I don't think we've ever officially talked but I hope all is well in your life.
Britton, you always say hi to me and it makes me feel small and happy.
Madi, you sound like a natural when reading in front of the class.
Hannah S., you dated my friend and have always been kind to me and everyone. I like your new hair color.
Emerald, I think your name is pretty.
Jake, Sweden looks like a hell of a place. I hope you never stop making people laugh.
Erin, I laughed way hard at your scene in our Office spoof.
I need to stop biting my nails,
I need to write more,
I need to traffic school but I think it might be too late,
cops seriously suck,
I can finally pull my hair back into a bun,
you've written two poems about me,
i like when we kiss
two weeks or two months or never again.
like the blond streak in my hair, we were in the same room on New Year's Eve.
I danced , you danced , but we didn't dance together.
I always complain that I don't write as much, but I don't think this really counts. This isn't completely what I want. I don't know what i want. i have your blue jumper. i hope to see you soon- i love you.
